Wedding Planning, Part 1

Warning: This is a wedding related post. I do not know how often I will do these, but I will try to make them clear in the title, so if you are not interested in weddings, feel free to skip them.

Second Warning: I think this is going to be a fairly long, photo-free post.

Mr. DB and I have been engaged for about six weeks. In some ways, I feel like we have made no progress on wedding plans. We do not have a date, location, color scheme, vendors, etc. etc. On the other hand, I do feel like I have a much better idea of what I want. Pinterest has been really helpful that way. Take for example my Wedding Ideas board. In the beginning, I was posting a lot of rustic pictures, barns, light colors, outdoor ceremonies... Then I realized, I do not like the outdoors! I do not like pastel colors! Mr. DB and I have never been to a barn together unless you count the Cornell Graduate Student Center. That is not the type of wedding we want to have. As I figure out what we do not want, I am starting to get a better idea of what we do want- an urban feel, exposed brick or stone, wood, warm inviting atmosphere, saturated color, a little vintage flair but still modern. So I guess we have made more progress than I think we have.

What is frustrating me is that we do not have any of the big things figured out. Mr. DB still lives in another state. We are not sure if we want to have our wedding here (expensive) or in one of our home states. We have eliminated our beloved Ithaca because it is so hard to get to for our guests. We are sort of at a standstill until we can visit venues during Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks. I know I will feel so much better once we have a location and can start hiring the major vendors such as catering and photography.

Then there is the date. Can you believe that 2013 is already filling up for my family? Mr. DB's family is from Wisconsin and I would be devastated if they were not able to attend the wedding, so snowy months are out in case there was a blizzard or something and they could not travel. We cannot do it too late in the summer or fall because of our work schedules. Mr. DB and my brother are both graduating in May. My uncle is having his Coast Guard retirement party in April. See the problem? I am not such a huge fan of summer weddings when it will be really hot, but I do not know if we have another choice.

I am just going to say this: Wedding planning sucks. That's right, it SUCKS. You are spending an insane amount of money for one day. You and your partner have expectations and wants you did not even know you had. Ever thought about corsages or envelope shapes before? I bet you will find you have opinions on them the second you start planning a wedding. Then add in family expectations (real or imagined) and it gets very messy. I keep having to remind myself to think of all my married friends and family members. Most of them did not elope and still lived to tell the tale. We can do this.

I was thinking about all this as I was walking to the Metro after class tonight with a classmate. He asked me how wedding planning was going and I am sure he got way more than he bargained for. At one point, I told him how Mr. DB and I had been talking about centerpieces last night. I said "Centerpieces. Do you know what I never thought about in my life before? Centerpieces." The absurdity of the whole process hit me. My friend and his wife got married a few years ago, and he told me that it is hard. You are making all sorts of decisions. But in the end, you have to remember that your family and friends are there to have a good time because they love you. It all works out ok somehow. I have heard that before, but somehow hearing it from him, not on a blog, not from Mr. DB, but from a friend who has been through this fairly recently helped me put it all into perspective.

Yes, wedding planning sucks. If I did not care about centerpieces until six weeks ago, why should I let it take up so much of my emotional energy now? In the end, our family and friends will not care, and something will be on the tables. I just have to keep reminding myself that.